


My Faith in Fate

by ggf83



Series: Pereche Series [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Psychological Drama, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:41:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggf83/pseuds/ggf83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice spent two years knowing she was going to lose Jasper and twelve years knowing he was with someone else while she was left alone. After all that time, surely she deserves to have her new beginning. When she meets Daniel, she is sure her perfect new life is about to begin. They are drawn together by fate, but sometimes our differences are just too drastic to overcome.</p><p>Sequel/Companion Fic to 'My Pereche'. Alice/OC. Dark Themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back!  
> This is the companion fic to "My Pereche". It follows on from the end of the epilogue with Alice's story. It is not entirely necessary to have read Pereche first, but it sure would help.   
> Not suitable for anyone who is underage or is sensitive to abuse of any kind -- potentially triggering for some people.   
> Thanks go to thir13enth for beta-ing.  
> All recognisable characters, locations and abilities belong to Stephenie Meyer. The idea of "Sufletul Pereche" and the character of Daniel belong to me.

 

Freedom. That’s what it had felt like when Bella’s transformation had released me from the heart-breaking attachment to Jasper—freedom.

I loved Jasper, I really did. But to no longer be _in_ love with him was such relief. Especially after the long goodbye I’d had to undergo over the two years before he finally bit her.

I’d been a worthy person – at least I thought I had. Hadn’t it been selfless of me to help Jasper with Bella? I could have prevented them ever meeting if I wanted and I didn’t. I loved him enough to let him go. So surely I deserved a happy ending of my own. Surely I deserved new own new beginning.

As I sat overlooking the Grand Parade next to my new-found mate, the grey clouds above us threatening more snow, I felt a new emotion – hope. Hope for the future. Hope for what I foresaw in our future. Hope that I could be happy and love once more.

“Are we…” Daniel cut himself off halfway through his question. “Are you…” His voice was like music. Like a cello playing legato. Rich, full and smooth.

“Yes,” I whispered, knowing of course what he wanted to ask.

He stared out at the humans going about their days, taking shortcuts across the wide paths, the odd one darting up the stairs into the City Hall itself.

“How do you know?” He moved his hand slightly so it was more firmly covering my own.

“It’s my gift. I see the future.”

“And that’s me?”

I looked over at his pale silhouette, his chiseled jaw and gently sloping nose. “That’s you.”

He exhaled deeply, with just the faintest sigh peppering his breath. “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” I told him with a smile. “Are you alone here? Do you have family? I mean, a coven?”

He tensed slightly. “I’ve been alone for… what year is it now?”

“2017.”

“Huh. Nine years.”

“I’m not expected back with my family for a couple of days, so we have time.”

He swung around to look at me abruptly. “Time to what?”

I shrugged and hid my face somewhat behind the collar of my coat. “Get to know each other?”

He nodded sharply.

I stood and offered my hand to him. “Come with me.”

He tensed for an instant. “Why?”

“Because Canadians might be a hardy lot, but you may have noticed that it’s too cold for even them to be sitting outside for prolonged periods of time. Being out here is conspicuous.”

“Conspicuous,” he muttered to himself, as if trying to blend in was a foreign concept to him.

He took the proffered hand, causing my body to warm all the way through. It was as if I was human again, standing in the early morning sun. As he stood up he took the time to really look at me properly for the first time. His gaze stopped when he got to my face. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

My fingers naturally fluttered up to touch the skin around the offending features. “I drink from animals, not humans.”

He crinkled his nose. “That, uh, doesn’t sound very appetizing.”

I knew the look on my face was one of yearning as I gazed up at him, but I couldn’t seem to stop it. “You get used to it. Come on.” I tugged on his hand and led him down the street.

“Where are we going?”

“We’re just walking. Who knows where we’ll end up.”

“You, apparently.”

I sighed. “I’m trying not to look at any of the future regarding you. It’s difficult, but I’d like for at least something to be a surprise.”

He wasn’t exactly chatty. I had to ask about a million questions to get anything out of him, and he seemed reluctant to open up to me. I couldn’t be sure what to make of it. I wanted my new mate to know everything about me, yet he didn’t want to volunteer any information. And when I asked him about his former coven, he froze up completely. Something was amiss, but I wasn’t exactly sure what.

I held in the sigh trying to escape as I looked out over the river. Life with Daniel wouldn’t be all romance and flowers. I’d had an inkling about that in a few of the visions I’d had, but a girl can always hope.

I didn’t want to compare him to Jasper, but it was hard to resist. He wasn’t the southern gentleman Jasper was. He had been 21 back in 1989 when he’d been changed, but the year and his age was all I was able to pry out of him about the day. Not because—like me—he couldn’t remember. The look that crossed his face told me that he remembered exactly what happened. I could only guess that something traumatic had happened.

He wasn’t as tall as Jasper – less than a foot taller than me. With a great set of heels, we would have that perfect height difference which makes couples look amazing standing together. I hadn’t tried it at this point, but I could imagine that it would feel nice to lean my head on his shoulder as we stood side by side.

His short hair was a warm brown color with the perfect highlights vampires possessed. It drew in the eye, but all I could focus on was how badly it had been cut. He admitted that it had been a mullet cut when he was human but had been cut shorter after his change. I knew how difficult that process was – it required each individual strand to be cut using vampire teeth, so basically someone needed to sit there for a very long time and bite off his hair. Whoever had done so obviously didn’t care much for precision.

Daniel was gruff at times, and he wasn’t afraid to show when he was unhappy. Humans often frustrated him, and he struggled to keep up with technology, so he didn’t really understand them anymore. He remembered being human but seemed disconnected from the memories, as if they had happened to someone else.

After walking for over two hours, the sky was darkening, a pink hue painting the horizon. We found ourselves at the high iron gates of the public gardens. As we entered, I purposefully grabbed his hand, threading my fingers through his. He froze for a second, looking down at our joined hands.

“Alice.” He let out a gust of breath. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

Daniel growled in frustration. “See, I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean! I don’t know what to do with a mate. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“You’re not _supposed_ to do anything, Dan. Just do and say what is in your heart.”

“My heart? I don’t _have_ a heart! _You_ don’t have a heart. Our hearts died long ago. How am I supposed to feel love—or whatever it is you’re expecting of me—when my heart hasn’t functioned for almost three decades? How do I know that it’s even possible?” He ended his speech with a light scoff.

I stopped in my tracks and looked up into his eyes. “Everything is possible,” I told him softly. “I _know_ that we can love, that we can feel things. I know this because I’ve felt it almost every day since I was changed. I feel it from my family. And I felt it from my ex-husband. He’s an empath, so if anyone knows about love, it is him. And not for one day that we were together did he question the existence of love or vampires’ ability to feel it. He knew, and _I_ know.”

Daniel began walking again, shrugging his hand out of my grasp. I quickly trotted after him, cursing my choice of footwear as I crunched along the gravel path.

“I know you’ve been hurt,” I called after him. “I don’t know how, and I desperately want you to confide in me, but all I know for sure is that something has happened to make you question love. You don’t need to question it, Daniel. It’s right here. Just let yourself feel it.”

He stopped and whipped around to face me, the stones crunching beneath his boots. “You don’t know _what_ I’m feeling, Alice. You don’t know me. You might think you do and that this cosmic connection gives you some sort of claim that you can know my thoughts, but you don’t.”

“No,” I whispered. “I don’t know what your thoughts are. I don’t know how you feel. But I know what you _could_ feel if you just allow yourself to. It can be wonderful, but you have to allow it.”

“I don’t know what it is I’m feeling. I know that I feel something, but how am I supposed to know that is the bond of a mate? How should I know when I’ve never felt anything like it before? I’ve felt lust, but that’s not what this is. I can’t even explain it.”

Hesitantly, I raised my hand up to touch his cheek. His flinch was almost imperceptible, but it was there. I turned away, cringing to myself, and leaned against the white stone post that was one corner of a beautiful, ornate bridge spanning the stream. The stone felt comforting, reminiscent of our own skin as it was.

“I know what the feeling is. I’ve felt it before,” I said softly, my words drifting out over the slow-moving stream. The edges were iced over, only the middle part of the water running freely. How aptly it mirrored Daniel and me – one part of us willing to flow with what was happening to us and another part frigid and unwilling to allow the spring thaw to separate them from the unmoving bank.

I slowly turned around, leaning against the pillar. “You just have to let go. Allow yourself to be taken along for the ride. It’s easy.”

“It’s not easy,” he protested, his hands grasping his hair in frustration. “You come along and expect me to just be your mate all of a sudden? Do you know this is the longest conversation I’ve had in years? I’m no good around other people. I’m no good for you.”

“Shouldn’t I get to decide what’s good for me?”

“I don’t know what I’m _doing_ here, Alice!”

“You don’t have to know anything. Just do what feels right.”

“I can’t!”

I could feel venom prickling in my long-ago dried up tear ducts. It caused pain to stab through me knowing I had no outlet for the pain. My mate didn’t want to _be_ mated. He wanted to stay the way he was before, a loner and a nomad, not relying on anyone else.

“It’s not supposed to be like this,” I whispered, and I was sure the anguish was written all over my face.

I turned and stumbled up the bridge, making it to the apex before I was grabbed by the arm and roughly turned around.

“Don’t be like that,” he demanded. “Don’t get all pissy and make me out to be the bad guy here. I haven’t had the time you have to get my head around what’s going on. You had a head start with this vision of yours. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, okay?”

“There’s no need to be scared. Vampires like you and me find their mates every day. It’s a good thing, but for some reason you’re acting as though it’s the end of life as you know it.”

“It _is_ this end of life as I know it! Everything is going to change. I know how this is going to work – I’ve seen other mated pairs. I can’t now just go off on my own again. It’ll hurt too much.”

“Hurt? So you do know that you can feel things?” I didn’t know why I was trying to make things worse. I just couldn’t help but feel defensive. I’d been so sure that this day would be one of the most wonderful days of my existence, and here it wasn’t like anything I could have foreseen. I now understood why I’d never seen any details of this meeting – maybe my brain was trying to protect me from the harsh truth that there was nothing romantic about my first meeting with my mate.

“Well, I sure know that I can feel pain. How do I know that you’re going to bring me anything other than agony?”

“You just have to trust me.”

“I can’t trust anyone.”

It was like a stab to the chest.

“You can trust me,” I said softly, looking at the brickwork beneath my feet. The paving  was smooth and still perfectly white even after all the foot traffic. “If there’s one person in the world you can trust, it’s me. I’m not going to go out and hurt you.”

I felt the first flakes of snow of the day landing on the back of my bowed head and saw even more landing near my feet. I could feel Daniel hovering just in front of me, undecided how to proceed. I desperately wanted to use my gift, but it felt like it would be a betrayal. Just seconds earlier he’d complained that I knew what was happening before he did, and I didn’t want to make that a habit. I had learned the hardest way possible just how much pain my gift could cause in the last decade or so.

“Do what feels right,” he whispered to himself, and I suddenly felt his two large hands grasping either side of my face, forcing me to look up and him. We paused, looking at each other for just a second, just long enough for another snowflake to land on my nose. Then he pulled me up, forcing me onto my tip-toes, and his mouth descended onto mine.

It was rough and forceful, angry and needy. He didn’t try to ease us into anything; his tongue was instantly invading my mouth. And as much as I felt like I should protest his force, I found that I couldn’t. I wanted this just as badly as he seemed to. I wrapped my hands around the back of his head, keeping him against me, and attempted to give him back as much as he was giving me.

Anyone else might have felt assaulted, but this was my mate. This was what was right for him; right for us. He wasn’t soft and romantic, but he was claiming what was his, whether he mentally believed himself to be ready for a relationship of not. I was his. And though his brain hadn’t quite caught up, his body sure knew it.

Just as suddenly as it began, it was over, and I was stumbling back in my shock until my back hit the side of the bridge. If I were human, I would have been panting like a dog.

“You deserve better than me,” he said, not looking directly at me.

“No. I deserve _you._ Because it may not seem like it at the moment, but the fates don’t just throw two random people together and decide they’re mates. Maybe we’re both what the other needs.”

“I don’t need anyone,” he growled.

“Maybe not.” Inside though, I knew he desperately needed someone. And apparently that someone was me. “But it’s okay to want someone even if you don’t need anyone. It doesn’t make you weak.”

“I’m not going to be some knight in shining armor, if that’s what you’re expecting.”

“I don’t need rescuing. I just need _you_.”

The snow fell around us, and like magnets, we both took two more steps toward each other, drawn back together against our will.

“Please don’t hurt me,” I murmured as we moved closer together.

“No promises,” he replied the second before moving in to kiss me again.

  


	2. Chapter Two

They say that there’s a fine line between love and hate. I fully understood that. Well, I understood that since meeting Daniel. It was as if I was torn in two. I knew that I was falling in love with him against my will, and I knew that he frustrated me to no end most of the time.

I was so accustomed to seeing the bright side of situations, and Daniel only ever saw the gloom. He saw our burgeoning relationship as a bad thing, like I was shackling him into matrimony against his better judgment, when in reality I knew that I didn’t want to marry him. Sometimes I could barely stand to be in the same room as him.

But then I would decide to walk away, and the visions which flooded my mind of my abject misery would make me stay by his side. It was a no-win situation.

“What’s wrong with humans?” he asked in frustration.

I threw my hands up and paced the alley. “We were both human at one point. Does it not feel just a tiny bit wrong to kill them?”

“No. It’s how we survive.”

“But if there’s another way, isn’t it better to save a sentient life? I can’t get over the fact that if I kill someone, there’s a family who is missing an integral piece of themselves.”

“So you kill Bambi’s mother instead.”

“It’s not the same, and you know it! Humans don’t think twice about being omnivores, but they sure as hell would object to cannibalism. It’s just like that.”

“Drinking from humans isn’t cannibalism because we’re not the same species.”

I turned away from him, focusing on the red brick pattern before me. “But we were born human,” I said softly. “That person you kill could be your own flesh and blood. They could be a family member.”

“I don’t _have_ flesh and blood. Well…. there’s no blood in me right now, but I plan to change that in a few minutes.”

“You’re impossible!” I cried in frustration, stalking back toward him until I was only a few feet away.

He just shrugged at me, a slight smirk on his face, as if he was pleased with how much he was pissing me off.

“Just try it. Please,” I begged, looking up at him with the best puppy-dog eyes I could manage.

  “No.”

“Please, Dan? Just once?”

I stood statue-still in the middle of the alley, watching him. He crossed his arms as he glared at me.

“It’s not happening, Alice. We’re vampires. We hunt humans. It’s simple.”

The seconds ticked by as we stared at each other, twenty yards of animosity between us. The shadows from the surrounding buildings couldn’t hide the darkness of his eyes or how his nostrils twitched as a human girl walked past the entrance to the alley. He broke our gaze to glance at the girl.

I stopped the brief vision forcing itself into my mind in its tracks, not wanting to see it, and I gritted my teeth. “I’m going back to the hotel,” I informed him. “I’m not going to watch this.”

He only nodded briefly and didn’t try to stop me. His attention was on his prey. His prey, who held something more than a passing resemblance to me, was completely unaware that her life was going to be extinguished in a matter of seconds.

I jumped up to the roof and used the darkness of night to move undetected across the rooftops at full speed. I just needed to get out of there before I either became an accessory to that innocent girl’s murder or attacked my own mate. Sure, I had seen Jasper kill many people, but ever since I had taught him how to hunt animals, his human meals had always been slips. Mistakes. Daniel knew exactly what he was doing. He knew there was another option and he still _wanted_ to hunt humans.

I could hear a muffled scream as I ran, and I closed my eyes, shuddering.

I tried to force the thought of what he was doing from my mind as I entered my hotel room and flopped on the bed. I wasn’t very successful, as I saw flashes of her black hair marred with her own blood. I could see the shock and pain in her eyes as he bit down. I could see her lifeless body on the ground as he took a cursory look through her purse for anything that might come in use.

I wished I could talk to someone. But my family didn’t know why I was here, and it didn’t seem like something I could tell them over the phone. Regardless, I picked up my cell about forty times, preparing to dial, before I would place it back on the nightstand.

I considered going out of the city to hunt myself, just to release some of my anger, but Daniel’s Bambi comment had stuck with me more than I had expected. If it was wrong to randomly kill humans, then surely it was wrong to take out more of the animal population when I wasn’t actually thirsty.

I flipped through the six hundred-odd channels on the TV, anxiety rippling through me. I hated Daniel for putting me in this position. Surely he should be thinking about his mate’s concerns over his thirst. Surely my opinion should at least mean _something_ to him. It seemed, however, that it did not.

Not paying attention to what was on the screen, I couldn’t stop thinking about my predicament. I needed to find a way to convince him to at least _try_ my diet. It was something I held dear, and one would think that what was important to his mate would at least be considered as an option.

 

 

The knock at the door came after several agonizing hours. With a sigh, I opened the door, already having smelled who was on the other side. I didn’t like the way my heart leapt when I saw him standing there.

“Can I come in?” Daniel asked, looking directly at me, defiantly. I couldn’t help but notice just how bright his eyes were.

I just shrugged and opened the door wider. I moved to sit on the bed while he leaned with his back against the door.

“This is who we are, Alice. You can’t fault me for that.”

“It’s not who _I_ am. I’ve worked hard to keep to my diet. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I can interact with people without constantly thinking of them as food. I can have friendships with them. I can go that little way toward not feeling like a monster every day of my life.”

“It doesn’t make you a monster when you’re designed this way,” he pointed out.

“A dog doesn’t have to bite. He may have been designed as a carnivore, but a domesticated dog doesn’t go snapping at every animal that goes past.” My metaphor didn’t seem to impress him.

“Are you calling me a dog?”

“Well you sure aren’t acting very domesticated.”

“I shouldn’t have to change who I am, Alice. And you shouldn’t ask me to.”

“I’m not trying to change you… completely. I’m just making you aware that there’s another way.”

“God! You’re so frustrating!” he exclaimed and marched across the four steps it took to reach me.

Confused, I didn’t expect him to grab me by the arms, pull me to standing, and kiss me forcefully.

I had no choice – I couldn’t stop myself from deepening the kiss, and when I did, I couldn’t stop the growl that echoed through my chest when I tasted the remnants of human blood on his tongue.

I was disgusted with him. But even more, I was disgusted with myself for how much I loved the way he tasted. His natural scent—already such a draw for me—mixed with the taste of the girl’s blood to make him almost irresistible. I could feel my body beginning to vibrate with need.

“No!” I gasped, using every ounce of self-control I possessed to pull away from him and fall back onto the bed.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. “No?”

“No,” I said forcefully, looking him directly in the eyes.

He leaned closer to me, letting his breath wash over me. “I don’t know what you’re objecting to, Alice.”

I didn’t dare open my mouth to answer him. I knew that the second I did, I’d take in his scent - the scent which was drawing me in.

He rested one knee on the edge of the bed and leaned in closer still. “You know you want me, Alice. You can’t resist the pull. Not even you with your holier-than-thou self-control can fight a mating bond.”

I looked away from him, glancing anywhere but at his face. He was right, and I couldn’t deny it. I was going to cave. He was my mate, and the urge to consummate the relationship was driving me crazy. And knowing that his mouth still tasted of blood wasn’t helping one bit, either. My mind was at war with my body, my conscience with my heart.

He reached over and grabbed my chin. “Look at me,” he demanded, and I cringed, knowing I was lost. I couldn’t deny my want for him. I couldn’t deny _him_.

Our eyes met. His were hard and unmoving. I knew that in mine he would be seeing resignation and pain.

I couldn’t fight him. It went against everything in me, everything that went through me yesterday when I first saw him in the distance.

“Dan?” I knew that if I were human, it would have come out with a sob. I was a wreck. I both wanted and didn’t want him equally, and I never knew which side I’d fall down on at any given moment.

His expression didn’t soften. He grabbed my shoulders and threw me back so my head was resting on the pillows. He crawled up to rest on top of me and kissed me with ferocity, forcing my lips open and letting me taste the last remaining drops of blood lingering inside his cheeks.

I loved it.

And I hated myself.

There was no foreplay. There was nothing romantic or loving. He didn’t even manage to get his jeans all the way off his ankles.

“You belong to _me_ ,” he growled as he pushed inside me, and I couldn’t refute it.

I _was_ his. My body was completely his. He’d taken possession of my heart and soul.

As he bit down on my collarbone and began to move faster, I knew the only part of me that didn’t belong to him was my brain. And eventually, that would fall, too. It was only a matter of time.

My body was soaring, finally united with its new mate after years of being alone, and I could feel myself inching closer to the precipice.

He kissed me forcefully again and pinched my nipple, and I was gone.

I had been through this before—consummating a relationship with a mate—so I knew what was coming. I knew how powerful my orgasm would be, and I knew to expect the rush of devotion and love spreading quickly through my body. I knew that he would bite down on my neck, and I knew I would feel our bond strengthening almost as if it were a tangible object.

What I didn’t expect was how hollow I would feel. My brain—the traitor against my body, heart and soul—knew it could have been better if only we’d been _in_ love. “In” being the operative word there – I felt love for him, but I wasn’t fully there mentally. And conversely, I knew that without the mating bond, without forces beyond our control manipulating our emotions, Daniel could have easily walked away from me.

I rolled away from him and curled into a ball as he sat up to kick his jeans off completely and leaned against the headboard.

I couldn’t put blame on him. I was sure if I had told him to stop, he would have. There were at least some things that were sacred in a mating bond. I had been just as into it as he had been, and could not refute that I loved it. That I loved _him_.

But not for the first time in my long life, I cursed my gift. I wished that I had never seen those visions of us together. I wished that I hadn’t seen that he would be in Halifax. I wished that I could resist the demand from my body to go find him.

I wished we had never met.

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

 

Daniel sat by the window, the afternoon sun hitting his skin and making it shimmer. He’d managed to put his jeans back on, but he was still shirtless. His muscles rippled as he lifted his arm to run his fingers through his hair.

I sat as far away from him as possible without burrowing through the wall into the next room, staring at him. I never thought it was possible to be this torn. I loved him and I was intensely drawn to him, yet I didn’t like the way he made me feel.

He kept glancing out the window. “Are you sure about this?”

“Well…. Yeah. What do you normally do? Just walk out in the open air for anyone to see you sparkling?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. I’m not in cities much unless I’m hunting.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s kind of a basic rule.”

“And I’m not exactly one for sticking to the rules.”

“Obviously,” I muttered. Nothing about him—about our relationship—stuck to the normal rules. Not that he was denying that we were mates, just that he wasn’t very excited at the prospect. He was embracing the physical side of mating but was very hesitant about the emotional side. He still wouldn’t tell me anything about himself past the basics, and he didn’t want to meet my family, which bothered me. Did he expect that I wouldn’t want to go home to them?

“I’m going to need to hunt tonight,” I told him. “There’s a forest area just outside the city that’ll be perfect.”

“God, Alice. You know you could get a much better meal just by stepping out this door. There’s no need to go that far away.”

“I’m not hunting humans.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Yes, I do, and it’s not worth it. You’ll come with me, right?”

He looked at me in disgust. “I’m not drinking no animals.”

I sighed. “I didn’t say you had to hunt with me, just come with me. What? You’d rather just stay here by yourself?”

He looked out the window for several minutes, watching the people on the pavement below. “Fine,” he said softly. “I’ll come. Gotta see this crime against nature first-hand sometime, right?” He tried to make his tone light, but there was a begrudging quality behind it.

“Don’t sound so excited,” I grumbled.

He looked at me, amused, and strode across the room. He bent down and ran his finger down the side of my face possessively. “Don’t be like that, _mate_.” His finger kept its downward journey, running down my neck and between my breasts. “You wouldn’t want me to have to punish you for insolence, would you?”

I couldn’t help the shiver of anticipation that ran through me at his touch. I was pathetic. I was putty in his hands.

“You know, there is still over an hour until sunset. We’ll need to find something to do until then, right?” he whispered, letting his breath wash over my face.

I looked up at him through my eyelashes. “I—I guess.” I knew exactly what he was wanting and knew I was powerless to resist him.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up, bending down to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder for the three paces to the bed. He lay me down and nuzzled at my neck.

I started to protest. “Daniel….” Halfway through his name, however, he hit a particularly sensitive spot and the protest turned into a moan of pleasure.

“Want you,” he growled against my skin. Always “want you,” and never “love you”. Our relationship was messed up, and I could freely admit it. After all those years of trying to be more human and to be a good person, just meeting Daniel had made me more vampiric than I’d ever imagined. I felt like I was losing myself—like I wasn’t the same Alice I had been just a few days ago.

“Want you too,” I breathed, surrendering to his will. Surrendering to his need.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is a stupid idea,” he told me as I led him through the city. We flitted across rooftops faster than anyone could see in the darkness, and I refused to let go of his hand, afraid that if I did he would flee.

“I have to feed, Daniel.”

“Yeah, but I offered you a great dinner just before. You turned down my five-star meal.”

“I’m _not_ feeding from a human.” How many times would I need to tell him this before he listened?

I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye. “Your loss.”

I stopped us just inside the tree line. “Here.”

He looked at me expectantly. “So, what am I supposed to do while you eat?”

“I don’t know. Just follow me. Watch. Whatever.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sounds riveting.”

“Hey, you might like it. Humans are easy. The hunt is over in seconds. With the big animals you get around here, you have to work for it. It’s more of a challenge. Maybe you’ll like that.”

“Why would I want to work for my food?”

I kicked at a rock near my feet and watched it fly into a tree ten yards away. “Variety?” I looked up at his bored eyes. “After you’ve been killing humans for a hundred years with no effort whatsoever, maybe the idea of it being more of a game will appeal.”

“Doubtful. The chase might be fun, but then I’d have to drink that horrible shit.”

I sighed heavily. “Whatever. Just don’t run off, okay?”

I might still technically be the only one of us still a teenager, but he did a very good impression of one as he huffed and looked away into the distance. “Whatever. Fine.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let all the scents of the forest fill my senses. I could just smell some black bear about thirty miles away, but they were in hibernation, and that was just cruel. Instead, I opted for the easy kill – white-tail deer. They didn’t taste the best, but they were in abundance, so at least I could claim to have retained some of my morality from before I met Daniel.

I took off, and after about ten seconds hesitation, he followed. He kept a slower pace, not seeming eager, but keeping me in sight.

With a feral growl, I snapped the necks of two deer and had sucked one dry before Dan appeared. He leaned against a large spruce, watching as I dumped the first carcass and picked up the second. With a questioning raise of my eyebrows I offered the second deer to him, but his face crinkled into a disgusted look and he shook his head forcefully.

With a shrug, I bit down and let the blood flow down my throat. I kept my eyes locked on Dan while I drank. I wished that he would one day join me hunting, because I knew that hunting together could be an incredibly erotic experience. I felt energy radiating through  my body as the blood spread through my system and tried to convey with my eyes just how good this could be if he gave it a shot. Instead of keeping my gaze, however, he looked off at the leaves, seeming to be bored.

“Done?” he called out when I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Just a second.” I piled snow over the carcasses to keep the meat fresh for the carnivores in the area.

I strolled over to him. “Well? What did you think?”

He shrugged casually. “Don’t see the appeal.”

“Really?”

“It’s got nothing on hunting humans. You don’t get to hear them scream. You don’t get to see their confusion when they try to work out what is going on or the fear in their eyes when they realize they’re about to die. You don’t get to feel a perfect female body under your hands as their life is slowly drained from them.”

I stiffened half way through his explanation.

“You’re a sadist,” I whispered, knowing the look on my face was pure hurt.

“I’m a vampire,” he corrected.

I started pacing between the trees. “How can you enjoy taking an innocent life?”

“I repeat – I’m a vampire.”

“Yeah, so am I. So is all of my family. But we don’t take pleasure in killing someone. We feel guilt when it happens.”

He was tense, coiled like a spring as he watched me pace.

“God, Alice!” He turned and punched a hole through the poor tree. “This is who we are! Why can’t you just accept that?”

I stopped and looked at him, pleading. “Because there’s another way. Maybe you didn’t realize it before you met me, but now you know. We don’t have to be monsters.”

“Why does everything keep coming back to this with us?”

I was quiet. “Maybe because I’m not sure if I can handle being with someone with no conscience.”

“Who says I don’t have a conscience? Just because I’m not trying to deny who I am? Because I don’t pretend to be something I’m not? You’ll never fit in with the human world, Alice, no matter how hard you try. And if you constantly look down your nose at _real_ vampires, you’ll never fit in with _us_ either.”

“ _Us?_ ” I repeated. “As in ‘you and all the other human-drinking vampires?’”

“Exactly.”

“Shouldn’t there be an _us_ that’s just you and me? Isn’t that what being in a relationship should be?”

He scoffed. “How can there be an ‘us’ when we’re on such different planes? How can you expect me to stick around here and listen to you bitch about me being a bad person every freaking day for the rest of eternity?”

“And how can you expect me to just sit idly by and watch your body count go up daily? How can I be with you knowing that every day I’m with you, a bit of my humanity is slipping away? How can I continue to see humans as being individual people with lives and loves when I know that you’re out there extinguishing those lives?” I spat.

He glared at me. “I’m not going to change who I am for you. I’m not going to give up something I love about myself. I love the kill. I’m not going to feel bad for that.”

I glared back at him. “I’m not going to change who I am for you, either. I can’t. I’ve worked so hard to gain the control for this diet. I’ve seen the difference between our family and the feral nomads we come across. I like the way we live. I want to stay that way. I don’t want to be a murderer.”

We stared at each other for minutes. Before actually meeting Daniel, I had never questioned that the fates could ever get mating wrong. How could someone be destined for someone so different?

My life had been a learning curve. I had to accept that the future wasn’t always perfect. It wasn’t always destiny that decided events, and the way the future could change in an instant was proof of that. Nothing was set in stone. Nothing – except mates.

Mates were never wrong. There was never a time when I had seen finding ones mate as being a bad thing. Even the most evil of vampires always seemed perfect for their mate. Having a mate completed them and made them a better person. Carlisle had always told us about the Volturi and how as evil those leaders seemed to outsiders, their mates kept them grounded. They could be so much worse if they never had the love of their perfect woman.

But me and Daniel? I couldn’t see it. How was he making me a better person? And conversely… how could I be making _him_ better when he refused to accept me and my lifestyle? The bond was there; I couldn’t deny that. I wanted him, and even against my will, I knew that I loved him. But I was miserable. He wasn’t making me happy like a mate should. Any longer with him, and I could foresee my scarily dark future.

_I belong here by his side, no matter what._

And at that thought, the vision flashed in my mind. It was me, looking up at Daniel, my eyes bright red and blood dripping down my chin.

I let out a tearless sob at the reality of my situation. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be that person. I liked who I was before I found him. Even though I was alone, it was okay, because I didn’t regret one thing in my past. I could live with myself. I couldn’t live with myself if things turned out how they did in that vision.

_I can’t do that. I can’t be that person._

The vision changed. I was back with my family, and I was a shell of a person, miserable without my mate. But my eyes were golden.

Was that the lesser of two evils?

I could be selfless. I could sacrifice my own happiness, knowing that I was saving human lives.

I’d always put so much faith in fate - the fate of mating. By now I knew the truth – fate was a bitch. And I wouldn’t just bow down to her and let her rule my life. I could make my _own_ destiny. I could take control.

I steeled myself for the pain I knew was coming.

I looked at my mate dead on, and squared my jaw against the onslaught.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t do this. I can’t be with you.” My voice, clear and strong at the beginning, faded into a whisper as I got the end of my speech out.

Shock flitted across his face, and with one more look at him, I turned to the northeast and ran.


	4. Chapter Four

 

It wasn’t until I reached the coastline that I realized I had left my car, my purse—everything—back in Halifax. I only hesitated a second before diving into the icy water and swimming across to Newfoundland. The rhythm of my strokes and the frigid water helped me calm my mind somewhat. If only the icy water could also cool the pain I was feeling in my chest.

When I reached shore, I stood looking back at Nova Scotia. I could just make out the faint glow of the city on the horizon. A human wouldn’t have been able to make it out, but it gleamed to me like a beacon.

_That is where your heart is. Go back to him._

I shook the thoughts out of my head with a wail of anguish, forcing myself to turn and run home. The home where my family was—not the home where I had left the remnants of my heart. I couldn’t be weak. I had to leave him, no matter how hard it was for me.

I slowed to a walk as I approached the house. I knew that they would be supportive, but having to tell them what happened would be almost as hard as running away had been.

“Alice?”

I looked in the direction of the voice I knew so well. Jasper and Bella were sitting on the stone wall at the back of the garden, resting in each other’s arms. It was going to take them a while to become accustomed to the chaos of the family again; they had been so used to it just being the two of them.

“What’s wrong?” Jasper asked. His voice made my despair come crashing down on me, and I collapsed to the ground, sobbing, my knees sinking into the snow. He looked at Bella. She nodded her approval, and he jumped down and raced to me, taking me in his arms.

“It hurts so much.” My body was shaking like a leaf, vibrating the ice that had accumulated in my hair off my head.

“I know,” he cooed, stroking the back of my neck, and I felt terrible that he was having to share this pain with me. “Tell me what happened.”

The commotion had called the rest of the family out to the yard, and they circled around the two of us, each couple standing together – just as it should be. The pain of knowing that I could be like that but had walked away from it ripped through me, and visions of the past few days flashed through my head.

Edward gasped. “R—really?”

I looked at the grass, unable to look at him now he knew what I had done.

Esme crouched down next to us. “Alice? What happened?” she asked in her perfectly caring, soft voice.

I shook my head, and Edward told them all. “She found her mate. And left him.”

A buzz went around the circle as different reactions merged into one. It was a cacophony of hisses, exclamations of how could I do it, and sympathetic noises.

“Why?” Carlisle asked, his voice ringing out clear and authoritative.

I shook my head again, unable to say the words.

Everyone looked to Edward.

He was confused for a second as he tried to sort through my thoughts. “Uh, they…couldn’t accept each other’s diets.”

“Oh…” Any protest Carlisle was about to make fell away on his lips.

“Come on, honey,” Jasper said softly, lifting me up into his arms. I could feel him manipulating my emotions, and I was too tired to tell him to stop. I was the one who ran away; I deserved to feel the pain, not him.

He carried me into the house, setting me on the couch next to him so I could snuggle into his side. I noticed Bella take up her place on the arm of the chair next to him, her fingers making their way into his hair, soothing.

I noticed the rest of the family hovering. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I warned them.

“But…”

“I can’t.” I buried my head under Jasper’s arm, treasuring the comforting—no longer enticing—scent I knew so well.

After several minutes of me not saying a word, they all drifted out of the room. Despite their attempts to stay quiet, I could hear them all meeting in Carlisle’s office to get the story out of Edward. I didn’t care. I just knew that I couldn’t tell them myself.

“Did you know you were going to meet him when you left here the other day?” Jasper asked softly.

I nodded my head against his side.

“And you hadn’t foreseen it going badly?”

I shook my head but realized I needed to explain at least a little bit. “I’d only seen glimpses of us together.”

“Oh, Alice. I’m so sorry.”

He let me sit there in my misery for hours, just stroking my hair. He always seemed to know just what I needed, and he allowed me to feel my pain, only taking the edge off when it became too much. The sky began to brighten before I even attempted to move from his comforting embrace.

“You’re too good to me,” I mumbled as I sat up, looking Bella in the eye in silent thanks that she allowed me to monopolize her mate all night. She pursed her lips and nodded slowly in response.

In his own answer, Jasper sent me feelings of understanding and acceptance.

With my head just a little bit clearer than when I first arrived, I had the sense to ask Emmett and Rosalie to get my car and my belongings from the hotel.

“And if he’s there, can I rip him apart?” Emmett asked.

Pain ripped through me at the thought, and it was obvious on my face. I couldn’t stand the idea of Daniel being hurt—physically, anyway. I knew that he was likely hurting emotionally because of my actions.

“I’m sorry, Alice,” Emmett blurted out when Rosalie elbowed him in the ribs. “But this guy hurt my sister. I’m entitled to be mad at him, aren’t I?”

“I doubt he’ll be there,” I said with a shake of my head, my sight focused on the carpet. “But don’t make things worse if he is. I hurt him, not the other way around. This is entirely my fault. I should have just stayed away.”

“Of course we won’t make it worse,” Rosalie reassured me before taking her husband’s hand and leading him out the French doors into the garden.

They each gave me a sad look before they disappeared. I expected to receive that look a lot from my family in the upcoming days. Weeks. Months. The biggest problem was that I knew that I didn’t deserve their pity. I had brought this pain upon myself. I was the one who sought him out. I was the one who approached him. I was the one who convinced him that regardless of his history, we should be together. I deserved to feel the pain.

Without my visions, I wondered if we would have ever crossed paths. Would things have been better if we met at a different time? Would we have been more amenable to each other’s needs? Or would I have found a different mate – someone more willing to change their diet for me?

It was Edward who finally approached me almost 24 hours after I first arrived home. Esme had taken up Jasper’s earlier job and was unobtrusively sitting at one end of the couch with my feet in her lap while I tried to block out reality by covering my head in cushions.

“Alice? Will you come out for a run with me?”

“I hunted yesterday. It didn’t end well,” I said softly, pushing my head further into the couch cushion.

“We don’t have to hunt. We’ll just take a run around the island. We can talk, can’t we?”

I raised my head to look at him with a sigh. “I guess.”

“Get changed,” he commanded me. “Get rid of those sea-salt encrusted clothes.”

“Really? _You’re_ telling _me_ about what to wear?”

“Yes. Since you’re incapable of realizing what you need right now, someone needs to.”

With another heavy sigh, I trudged up to my room and changed.

“Better?” I asked as I returned down the stairs.

“Much.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.

I halted just before the tree line. “Edward?”

“Yes?”

“If I try to go back to the mainland, you have to stop me, okay?”

“Of course.” He nodded curtly and pulled me into a jog.

I felt the rush of air against my face as we ran. I could feel the crunch of the snow beneath my feet. I could hear the whisper of insects munching their way through the trees. I knew that I should be happy right now—I always loved the feeling of flying—but the joy was lost to me. All that remained was excruciating pain.

“Why are we out here?” I asked after twenty minutes of running.

“To run.”

“Not a good enough reason.” My mind turned to Daniel and the look on his face the second before I turned to leave him. I couldn’t believe the strength it had taken to walk away from him. If I was honest, I would have to admit that it was harder than giving Jasper up – because with Jasper, I knew that leaving him would make him incredibly happy. But this time, I left for selfish reasons and because of that, I was being punished with the incredible amount of hurt I had to endure.

“It will get better, you know.”

I scoffed. “I can hardly see how.”

“It will. I’ve seen it.”

“I thought _I_ was the one who could see the future.”

“Not with you. I’ve seen the minds of others who have left their mates. It’s possible, but definitely not easy. It’s only been twenty-four hours, Alice. Of course it hurts. But after some time, you’ll be able to live again.”

“Like I did before?”

He leaped over a river before answering, smiling at the feeling as he flew across. “Maybe not. You’ll probably feel like there’s something missing now. But you’ll be able to live without him.”

I sighed. “So I’ll be a miserable old cow. How long until you start calling me Miss Pittypat?”

He barked out a laugh. “Well, I wasn’t going to at all, but now that you mention it—”

In two steps, I had approached him and pushed him over, landing him deeply in the snow. He jumped up and shook the clumps out of his hair, patting his clothes down at the same time.

“See? Right there?” He smiled at me. “There’s still some emotion left in you.”

“Oh, I know I can feel emotion,” I retorted. “It’s called misery. I’m becoming well-acquainted with it.”

“Something _other_ than misery.”

I shrugged.

He sat down on a fallen tree trunk as I leaned against a nearby rock. “You know, Alice, you can leave. Go back to him. Nobody will think any less of you.”

“I can’t! I can’t be the monster he’ll turn me into!”

“At least you’ll be together,” he said, his voice fading on the breeze.

“I can’t. He won’t change his diet; won’t even consider it.”

“Alice,” he said with a sigh. “Does it have to be all or nothing? You’d known him three days before you left. It’s a lot to take in. I’m sure he was overwhelmed and scared. Maybe, after some time, he would come around to the idea. Maybe— _just maybe_ —for now, you could meet him halfway.”

I looked at him as if he had grown a second head. “What? You’re on _his_ side now?”

“There are no sides in this. We all just want you to be happy. That’s all that matters, surely. I know that we have created a great life here without harming humans, but Daniel only knew his life. You can’t expect him to make such a life-altering change so quickly.”

“He said he’d never do it.”

Edward ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “When you pushed him. You argued, and he felt backed into a corner. Did you really expect anything different from him? I don’t think he’s a bad guy here, Alice.”

“What? And _I_ am?”

He sighed. “No. You’re not. There’s no right and wrong sometimes. But you need to both listen to each other and adapt to what the other wants and needs. You need to at least _try_ to make it work. Even if that means you have different diets.”

I kicked at a mound of snow, making flakes fall all around me. “I’ll become a monster just like him. I saw it.”

“Yes. I know you did. I saw it too. But sometimes I think you rely too much on the black and white of what you see in your visions. Did you consider the extenuating circumstances of what was causing that vision?”

I dropped to sit on the other end of the log from him with a slight thud. “What do you mean?”

He rubbed his hand against his cheek in a very human gesture. “You have us, Alice. The impression I got from that vision was that you had run off with him as a nomad. But you need to remember that we are here, and even if he stays on the human diet, you have us to help you abstain. We won’t let you fall off the wagon if that’s what you want. There’s a middle ground here. It doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. Don’t run away from your family; we’re here to help you.”

“He wouldn’t want to live here with all of you.”

“You don’t know that. He may have baulked at the idea initially, but he might change his mind. And even if you don’t live with us anymore, you can stay close by so we can still help you.”

“I can’t see how this will work. Do you really expect me to go back to him, hat in hand?”

“Do you love him?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then that’s the most important thing here.”

“I might love him, but he never showed any hint that he felt the same way about me. It’s useless.”

I saw the flash of a vision just moments before it happened, and Edward and I both whipped our heads around behind us to see it happen in real life.

It was such a familiar voice, a voice I had spent the last day imagining. And it wasn’t just a dream this time. It was right there coming from his mouth.

“I do feel the same way.”

I sat there in shock as I watched Daniel duck out from behind the brush and walk toward us.


	5. Chapter Five

“Daniel,” I whispered, my voice scattering on the breeze.

He was truly here, mere feet away from me. He had followed me across hundreds of miles—for what reason, I couldn’t be sure—and stood before me. His appearance mirrored how I felt. His clothes were somewhat more ripped than when I left him, and there was a streak of dried blood on his chin. His eyes were dark and hollow like a haunted man.

Edward was looking between the two of us, his head flicking back and forth comically. “Should I…” He gestured back toward the house, looking concerned.

_Go, you idiot._

“Right.” With a last glance between me and my mate, my brother was gone, a few snapping twigs the only echoes in his wake.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I stood up from the fallen log to face him, making sure to leave the giant tree between us as some kind of shield against the power he wielded over me.

“What do you think?”

“I really don’t know!”

He took a step closer. “Alice. You left me.” His voice was softer and held more emotion than I had ever heard in it. He almost seemed vulnerable.

“I’m aware. Did you ever consider that there might be a reason for it?”

The softness was gone. “What possible reason could there be to leave your mate?”

I was pacing the length of the log, forging a path through the covering of snow and through to the layer of dead leaves below. “I saw it, okay? I saw a vision of what I was going to become if I stayed with you!”

A frown marred his face. “What you’ll become?”

I took a step backwards. “A monster,” I told him softly. “A human drinker.”

He quickly schooled his face into a blank canvas, emotionless and hollow. His voice echoed his detached demeanor. “Because all human drinkers are evil.” It came out as a statement of fact, not the question I expected it to be.

I cringed and looked away. “I just… don’t want that lifestyle.” Even I knew that my words sounded defensive. I almost lacked the ability to confirm the idea to Daniel’s face, our bond not letting the words leave my mouth. It wasn’t exactly what I meant, but it wasn’t too far from the truth. I _did_ think that many human-drinkers were evil. I knew that prolonged consumption of human blood often changed personalities. I also knew from first-hand experience that abstaining made us more human than our counterparts. We didn’t see people as food, and that could only be a good thing, surely. Humanity and life were things considered gifts, so it followed that as vampires they were something we should also strive for as well.

“Even if you’re scared, Alice, you shouldn’t have run. That’s not the right thing to do. You should have stayed and fought for us.”

“Stay and fight for something which could end up destroying me?”

“What’s the alternative? Leaving both of us to be miserable for the rest of time?”

I didn’t have an answer, because that was exactly what I planned. I simply shrugged one shoulder and quirked one corner of my mouth in guilt.

“You promised me,” he said softly, his head quirked to the side as he studied me.

“I promised? What did I promise?”

He looked me directly in the eyes. “You promised me that I could trust you to not hurt me.”

“I--”

“I thought you were different. I thought you wouldn’t leave me like they all do. You were supposed to care enough, Alice. To care more than my human mother to not leave me. To care more than Theo.”

I scrunched my brow in confusion. “Who’s Theo?” This was the problem when he didn’t tell me about his past. I was missing important parts of what made him _Daniel_.

“Theo was my… creator. My friend. My father. But he met his mate.”

“What? And he left you?”

His eyes went hard. “She was killed by another nomad, and after she died, he just sat down and asked them to kill him as well. He didn’t love me enough to keep living. His _mate_ was the reason he left me. Left me alone. _Mates_ are more trouble than they’re worth.”

His hesitance to get close to anyone, even his mate, suddenly made sense. But regardless, it still hurt to think he didn’t want me. “You think I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”

He took a few angry breaths, like a bull preparing to charge, staring me down. “You think I don’t know you, but I probably know you better than your family. I know that your power is both your greatest gift and your greatest curse. I know that you practically drown in the guilt you feel because you can see bad things happening but don’t know the course to take to stop them. I know you have spent decades trying to control the world, when really all you crave is to give up control; you want someone else to take the reins for once. Alice, that someone is me. We both know it is. You don’t have to fear you’re making the wrong decisions anymore, because I’m willing to take over for you. I can take some of your burden. You just have to let me.”

“I don’t—”

“Yes, you do. Take down the façade, Alice. You don’t have to organize and plan every minute of every day just because you can see the consequences of every decision. You don’t have to keep the weight of the world on your shoulders. I’m here to take some of that from you. And I’m very strong, you know.” He sent a little smirk in my direction.

“I _like_ organizing everything,” I protested.

“Parties and frivolous things, sure. But do you really like having to tell everyone how to live their lives—and have them resent you for it—just because you’ve seen the outcome? It’s time to let go. It’s time to accept that sometimes bad things happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And yes, that means that sometimes we can’t be perfect. We can’t all stick to the animal diet. But just because you see the slips happening, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on life altogether.”

Something in the words he was saying made me think he’d had a change of heart. What had happened to him in the precious hours since I had run from him? “Does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shake of his head. “But it’s not your decision to make or alter. It’s mine. And if either of us make mistakes, that’s not your fault, Alice. You can’t give up on a relationship because you’ve seen a split second vision of something bad happening. Do humans forego relationships because they know that there will be hard times? No, the good times outweigh the bad. It’s all worth it. If being together means that there’s an odd slip, aren’t the hundreds of happy times worth those few times of pain?”

“I—I guess.”

“Don’t fight happiness, Alice. I’m here to fight for you. No, I’m not ready to go cold turkey and change my diet. No, I’m not ready to play happy families with a bunch of people I don’t know. But you _don’t_ run away because of those things. Mates grow and evolve together. But they wither and die apart. Let us evolve, Alice. Let us grow. Don’t let us become so despairing that we beg some stranger to kill us, leaving everything behind.”

I looked at my mate in confusion. Nobody in my life had really ever called me on my inclination to make decisions based on my visions. Every one of the Cullens had just gone along with what I told them since the day they learned about my gift. It had resulted in some great things happening, but sometimes the pressure to be right all the time did get to me.

Was this why Daniel had been sent to me? I hadn’t been able to work out why the fates had deemed him to be perfect for me. But maybe this was it. He could be harsh and forthright, sure, but maybe that was what I needed. Maybe I needed someone to question my decisions. Maybe I needed someone to stop me from going off excitedly with some plan. Maybe—just maybe—he really was the yin to my yang. The gruff and tough man who takes no shit from anyone to balance out what had been described as my over-bubbly personality that caused people to agree to things they didn’t want to.

He was willing to follow me and call me on a bad decision. He was willing to fight for me even after I’d abandoned him. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. In three days he hadn’t been willing to change his diet for me. But was diet the only factor in a relationship? Could we find some middle ground and learn to accept each other’s faults?

I was Alice Cullen. I was the one who saw the future. It wasn’t often I got a dressing down from anyone about my decisions. But in the space of an hour I’d had both Edward and Daniel yelling at me and telling me I’d gone the wrong way. It was possibly the hardest thing for me to admit—and I could see it becoming a pattern if Daniel stuck around—but maybe they were right. Maybe I had been pig-headed, letting the tiny glimpses of the future control what I did with my life.

I looked him up and down. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and he was instantly across that damn fallen log and at my side.

“Sorry?” His fingers were twitching by his side, as if he was trying to resist from touching me. I knew exactly how he felt, because our proximity was making me want to touch him in return.

“Yes,” I said softly. “You’re right. Both you _and_ Edward.”

“What am I right about?”

God, I hated admitting I was wrong. I didn’t do it often. I had always occupied that moral high ground that came with omniscience. “I only saw one bad vision. I shouldn’t have let that jade our whole experience. I didn’t even look for the good parts of our future.”

“ _Our_ future? So are you saying we have a future?” He looked at me with lust and just the slightest hint of… was that love?

I couldn’t say no to him. I sighed. “Yes. If you’ll have me back.”

He grabbed me by the upper arms and pushed me back against the nearest tree, forcing his lips against mine. I was in no position to stop him, and I found I didn’t want to. I wanted to give him control. I wanted to let him be the man in our relationship—something I knew I hadn’t always done with Jasper.

“I have one condition,” he said between kisses.

“What’s that?”

“I need you to promise that you won’t do anything like this again. If you have a vision like that, _tell_ me. Tell me your problems. Don’t just go off half-cocked without trying to work the problem out. You might see the future, but you don’t know everything.”

I hung my head, resting it on his muscular shoulder. “I’m starting to realize that,” I said softly, my hands creeping up to thread themselves in the back of his haphazard hair.

“So?”

“So what?” I was momentarily distracted by his nibbling at the side of my neck.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise I’ll try,” I breathed.

“So stubborn,” he growled. “Close enough.”

With that, he scraped his teeth down my neck, making me shiver in anticipation. His hand crept down the middle of my chest, ripping the buttons of my blouse open as it went, exposing my pink lace bra.

I could feel the rough bark scraping against the silk material, and in any other situation I would have been mourning the loss of the beautiful shirt. It was going to be ruined very quickly from our hard bodies.

I leaned forward and licked at the dried blood on his chin, cleaning the temptation from his face.

My eyes flicked to his. “That—that’s deer blood,” I gasped, pride filling me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was disgusting,” he replied with a shrug. “And it doesn’t change anything.”

That was where he was wrong. He had made an effort. Not just the effort to find me, but at least he _tried_ animal blood. There was hope for him. Hope for us.

My attention was pulled back to him when he grasped my left leg and hooked it over his hip. I couldn’t stop myself reaching down to unbuckle his belt. I was eager to feel him against me, and I couldn’t deny that even to myself. His pants loosening and falling to his knees jostled the foot wrapped around him and my pretty ballet flat fell from my toes, tumbling into the snow beneath us.

I saw his hand snake under my denim skirt, inching tortuously higher. I wanted to beg him to move his hand faster, but my mouth was suddenly engulfed by his and I couldn’t say a word from the force of his tongue moving against my own. I shuddered when his fingers finally brushed against my panties. A flash of what he was intending to do ran through my head, so I didn’t move my leg down to assist him.

A finger moved under the elastic around my leg and within milliseconds the material was ripped from my body and discarded to the side, the royal blue color in stark contrast to the white on the ground.

“Daniel,” I gasped against his lips as he thrust two fingers inside me with very little caution. His other hand moved up to caress my breast through the cup of my bra, sending a surge through me when he brushed over my nipple.

My hands gripped his shoulders, steadying me as he stroked me into a frenzy, and I whimpered when he pulled his fingers out, looking at me with the faintest hint of a smirk.

Anchoring me off the ground, higher on the tree, he lined our hips up against each other. He looked deeply into my eyes, his deep coppery-red eyes boring into my own. He seemed to be waiting for something. I quirked my head to the side in question, not breaking our combined gaze, and attempted to push his hips forward with my foot.

“Who do you belong to, Alice?” he asked, his voice dripping with desperation.

“I—” My old self wanted to protest and say that I was my own woman, but somewhere deep inside, I was beginning to think that wasn’t true anymore. He needed me to belong to him body and soul, and I wanted to be what he needed.

“Who?” he demanded.

“You,” I told him with conviction. “I’m yours.”

He swallowed the last word in his kiss, thrusting into me instantly. I couldn’t be sure exactly _why_ —although I could hazard a guess—but this felt better than our first time mere days ago. This wasn’t about claiming a mate in an animalistic way. This was about connecting as people—as vampires—and accepting each other.

I could feel the cells of my skin itching to move against him faster and harder, but he held me in place against the trunk of the tree, and I could feel some pieces of the bark falling off beneath me. He was completely in control, keeping me prone against him, and I found that I actually liked the feeling of being under his spell. Nobody else could tell me what to do, yet Dan seemed to be able to do that with ease, and it even felt _right_. I wanted him to own me, and as his movements accelerated, gripping my hips tighter and tighter, I couldn’t help the groan that escaped my lips.

“Mine,” he growled softly as we both crept closer and closer to the edge.

My eyes fell closed and my head fell back against the tree in ecstasy. “Yes. Completely yours,” I moaned as I fell off the precipice, the contractions of my body pulling him over with me.

“Mine,” he repeated, and he sunk his teeth down into the join between my neck and shoulder. Just the bite and what it meant was enough to make a series of after-shock flutter through me. He had marked me in the most primitive of ways, and as we both came back down to earth, glancing at each other, he lapped at the wound, sealing it with his venom.

Waves of contentment filled me, and I could feel a light purr echoing through his chest. I started when I realized the same noise was coming from me.

Reaching up to thread my fingers through the sides of his hair, I pulled him down to kiss him gently, incredible emotion filling my every pore.

“We can do this,” I whispered, and for the first time since actually meeting him, I truly believed it. I belonged to him, and that would be true until the moment we died.

“We can,” he confirmed. “Because it’s almost as if the fates commanded it.”

Maybe fate wasn’t a fickle as I had believed.

 


End file.
